My keywords for 2019 are new beginnings, depth and connection.
While preparing to write a summary of my year and searching for some photos to describe it, I got overwhelmed by the sense of gratitude. Looking through the gallery, I noticed so many beautiful moments, experiences and people to remember and celebrate.
The most consistent and enjoyable parts of my 2019 were friendships and cooperation. Quite a few people with whom I share similar values and perspectives came and stayed in my life. With these people, I can have beyond interesting conversations, grow through reflections, create something together and just enjoy life. I saw that I can be authentic and still be loved and appreciated the way I am. I had the pleasure of bringing people together, participating in events and taking on adventures. At the same time, I also lost a few close people, and it took me some time to accept that.
Last year, I got to know myself more than ever. I was able to see more clearly my subconscious behavior patterns, heal many of my past wounds, and live my daily life more in the way I want to live. Of course, it wasn’t all easy and painless. Some days I felt inspiration and excitement, other times sad, exhausted and doubtful. I became aware of some painful things that were deeply suppressed in me. I am still on my way to figure it out, but many important steps have already been taken.
In 2019, I studied coaching, counseling, and trauma integration in Estonia and in the United States. I gained valuable knowledge in psychology and became a Completion Process Certified Practitioner and a certified counselor. Talking about in-depth topics, supporting, and guiding people has always been something close to my heart, and now I took it to a whole new level. So far, the knowledge gained and the sessions I have done have enabled me to support people with their painful experiences, fears and inner conflicts. I have helped to find solutions and bring positive changes. Currently, I feel that I am on the right path and will continue to learn and improve myself in this field.
This year I plan to start my own business. The process has been going on for some time already. I am preparing the practical side and also supporting myself with my fears regarding making my services and my life more visible to the public. Although in my past, I played chess in the Estonian national team and wrote articles about it, the current plan seems to show my deeper and more vulnerable layers. I am still growing my confidence, and I am very grateful to all the wonderful people who have supported, mentored and inspired me in some way to continue the path.
At the end of summer, I joined salsa classes and started to love it right away. I am definitely going to continue dancing in 2020. And woah! I began writing poems. Previously writing poems was something I had mostly done as homework at school, so I was surprised by this new way of expressing myself.
Throughout the year, I also continued making my home cozier and observing squirrels, who often climb to my balcony. I feed them with nuts from time to time. All the squirrels look and behave a bit differently, and I might even start naming them one day. Gaining their trust has been an exciting and delicate process.
Thank you, everyone, who has helped to make my 2019 special and memorable!
Have a beautiful 2020!