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EESTI KEELES

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EESTI KEELES

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My year 2019

Goodbye 2019, hello 2020!

January 4, 2020

My keywords for 2019 are new beginnings, depth and connection. While preparing to write a summary of my year …

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Recent Posts

4 questions to ask yourself when in a hurry
September 8, 2021
Inspiration and Success Stories
January 6, 2021
Embarrassed about Showing Your Feelings?
April 14, 2020
A Step by Step Guide to Validating Emotions and Feelings
April 3, 2020

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Sharing what I recently learned from being in a hurry 🙂

One day, I accidentally spilled something over twice. It was a busy day, and at first, it bothered me. However, as this was not common at all, #curiosity arose inside me. Why did something like that happen twice in a row?

As I moved quickly to the next activity, at the same time analyzing the situation, I realized why it had happened. I was not present and paying enough attention to these activities. My focus was on the future and the plans ahead. I also realized that I was waiting for a calmer moment. A few busy days were ahead, and then the day would come when I would have some time off again. But why were these days filled with busy activities when I was already waiting for a calmer moment? Maybe because I had chosen them?

Yes, I had chosen all these activities for my life, and I wanted to do them! This questioning had brought me to an important realization. I immediately drew my attention back to the present moment. Although I kept moving at the same pace, I was present at the same time. I was also able to enjoy this busy moment. And being genuinely present with myself, I felt how those busy times also became more prosperous and peaceful. I even didn’t feel so much in a hurry anymore.

After that day and realizations, I tend to notice faster when I am in haste again or wait for time to pass and a relaxing day to arrive. In these moments, I ask myself:

🌸 Is my focus on the present moment?
🌸 Am I doing activities I want to do right now?
🌸 Have I chosen these activities for myself?
🌸 If I don’t want them anymore, how can I change my life and choose differently?

Taking responsibility like that has given me more power in my life. I feel more in charge of creating and directing my experiences. It is possible to change our minds and re-select. Spilling things came to teach me being more present in the current moment and that I have the power of choice for my life.

Dear reader, how often do you find yourself in a hurry? Are you focused and present when you’re in a hurry? Or are you waiting for this moment to pass? What should change so that you could be more in the present, more in the now?

tuulivahtra

•

Sharing what I recently learned from being in a hurry

One day, I accidentally spilled something over twice. It was a busy day, and at first, it bothered me. However, as this was not common at all, #curiosity arose inside me. Why did something like that happen twice in a row? As I moved quickly to the next activity, at the same time analyzing the situation, I realized why it had happened. I was not present and paying enough attention to these activities. My focus was on the future and the plans ahead. I also realized that I was waiting for a calmer moment. A few busy days were ahead, and then the day would come when I would have some time off again. But why were these days filled with busy activities when I was already waiting for a calmer moment? Maybe because I had chosen them? Yes, I had chosen all these activities for my life, and I wanted to do them! This questioning had brought me to an important realization. I immediately drew my attention back to the present moment. Although I kept moving at the same pace, I was present at the same time. I was also able to enjoy this busy moment. And being genuinely present with myself, I felt how those busy times also became more prosperous and peaceful. I even didn’t feel so much in a hurry anymore. After that day and realizations, I tend to notice faster when I am in haste again or wait for time to pass and a relaxing day to arrive. In these moments, I ask myself:

Is my focus on the present moment?

Am I doing activities I want to do right now?

Have I chosen these activities for myself?

If I don’t want them anymore, how can I change my life and choose differently? Taking responsibility like that has given me more power in my life. I feel more in charge of creating and directing my experiences. It is possible to change our minds and re-select. Spilling things came to teach me being more present in the current moment and that I have the power of choice for my life. Dear reader, how often do you find yourself in a hurry? Are you focused and present when you’re in a hurry? Or are you waiting for this moment to pass? What should change so that you could be more in the present, more in the now?

4 years ago

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Enjoying sunset after a group meditation guided by @kkanaldusedstuudio on the beach ☀️ #meditationretreat #sunsetinestonia

tuulivahtra

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Enjoying sunset after a group meditation guided by @kkanaldusedstuudio on the beach

#meditationretreat #sunsetinestonia

4 years ago

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2/6

Recall a situation where you were hurt, sad, scared, or angry and shared your feelings with others. How did they react? Was their response supportive, or did it make you hurt more?
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Unfortunately, sharing our worries is often met with sentences that are more detrimental than supportive. For example:
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“Don’t be so sensitive!”
“There’s no reason to be afraid of that.”
“The situation could be much worse.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“Get over it!”
Etc.
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Does that sound familiar to you?
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Also, many people take another person’s dissatisfaction as a personal attack and then blame the person. However, the latter can bring the person who shared her worries even more down. Given all this, it is no wonder that many people no longer dare to talk about what is happening to them. They suppress their feelings or withdraw from social encounters.
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So what do we really need in a situation like this?
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When I share my sadness, fears, or other feelings, the first thing I need is to be heard. Perhaps it’s also something that you and your loved ones need? Seeing that you were listened to and understood makes it much easier to move towards a solution and a better feeling. A crucial part of active listening and understanding someone, is validating the person’s feelings and emotions.
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What is validation?
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Validating is giving another person a direct and clear message that their experience is understandable, real, and logical, given what has happened. By validating people’s emotions and feelings, you can prevent conflicts, create more mutual understanding, and develop harmonious relationships. 🧡 In my experience, empathy and sincere validation are some of the most connecting powers in a relationship. Moreover, it is also essential to validate yourself. Self-validation helps to reduce internal conflicts and increase your sense of inner security and wellbeing. 🥰
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You will find more detailed validation examples in one of my latest articles. I wrote more in-depth about validation and invalidation so that we could better support the people we care about.
.
Link in bio or type 👉 https://tuulivahtra.com/valid

#validation

tuulivahtra

•

Recall a situation where you were hurt, sad, scared, or angry and shared your feelings with others. How did they react? Was their response supportive, or did it make you hurt more? . Unfortunately, sharing our worries is often met with sentences that are more detrimental than supportive. For example: . “Don’t be so sensitive!” “There’s no reason to be afraid of that.” “The situation could be much worse.” “What is wrong with you?” “Get over it!” Etc. . Does that sound familiar to you? . Also, many people take another person’s dissatisfaction as a personal attack and then blame the person. However, the latter can bring the person who shared her worries even more down. Given all this, it is no wonder that many people no longer dare to talk about what is happening to them. They suppress their feelings or withdraw from social encounters. . So what do we really need in a situation like this? . When I share my sadness, fears, or other feelings, the first thing I need is to be heard. Perhaps it’s also something that you and your loved ones need? Seeing that you were listened to and understood makes it much easier to move towards a solution and a better feeling. A crucial part of active listening and understanding someone, is validating the person’s feelings and emotions. . . What is validation? . Validating is giving another person a direct and clear message that their experience is understandable, real, and logical, given what has happened. By validating people’s emotions and feelings, you can prevent conflicts, create more mutual understanding, and develop harmonious relationships.

In my experience, empathy and sincere validation are some of the most connecting powers in a relationship. Moreover, it is also essential to validate yourself. Self-validation helps to reduce internal conflicts and increase your sense of inner security and wellbeing.

. You will find more detailed validation examples in one of my latest articles. I wrote more in-depth about validation and invalidation so that we could better support the people we care about. . Link in bio or type

https://tuulivahtra.com/valid #validation

5 years ago

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3/6

Enesearmastus on teema, millest räägitakse palju. Aga kuidas armastada ennast? Kuidas aktsepteerida enda juures asju, mida on aastaid või lausa aastakümneid maha tehtud? Mis üldse on enesearmastus?
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Mina näen enesearmastuse taga enda aktsepteerimist, mõistmist ja toetamist just sellisena, nagu ma olen. Ning, jah, see hõlmab ka neid külgi, mis mulle enda juures varem meeldinud pole. Ja see ei tähenda, et ma ei võiks enam muutuda või tahaks enam kuhugi püüelda, aga kui ma armastan ennast, siis see ei tule endaga rahulolematusest või enda valeks tegemisest.. vaid lihtsalt soovist, et inimesel, keda ma armastan, oleks parem olla.
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Enese armastama hakkamine tähendab enda vastu võitlemise lõpetamist, sisemist rahu, endaga rahu. Kui me ei lükka enam ennast ära, kui me ei häbene enam enda omadusi, olekut või erinevaid pooli. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me võtame aega selleks, et ennast tundma õppida. Me pühendume sellele, et ennast mõista ja endaga kohal olla. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me hoolitseme enda eest. Me tahame, et kogu meie olemusel oleks hea ning vajadusel astume selleks samme. Me kuulame oma vajadusi ja prioriseerime ennast. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me särame ja sellest särast saavad osa ka meid ümbritsevad inimesed. 🥰🌞
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Kuidas hakata ennast rohkem armastama? Võimalusi on selleks mitmeid. Täna jagan teiega ühte küsimust, mis mind sellel teel on toetanud: „Mida teeks inimene, kes armastab mind täpselt sellisena, nagu ma olen?” Kui olen vastu võtmas otsust või otsimas ideed uueks ettevõtmiseks, siis vaatan seda küsimust ja tunnetan, mis on minuga kooskõlas. Tunnetan, milline otsus on enda suhtes armastav. Iga sellise otsusega saame me astuda lähemale olemaks inimene, kes armastab meid täpselt sellisena, nagu me oleme.
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Inspiratsioon küsimuseks pärineb Teal Swani raamatust „Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through Your Darkest Times”.
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Kui sind kõnetab see küsimus ja usud, et see võiks kedagi toetada, siis hindan väga, kui jagad seda sõnumit ka edasi. Aitäh ❤️
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#enesearmastus #armastaennast #armastus #eneseaktsepteerimine #rahulolu #heaelu #heaelutehnika #harjutus #teadlikkus #teadlikelu
#sinilill #sinililled #eestimets

tuulivahtra

•

Enesearmastus on teema, millest räägitakse palju. Aga kuidas armastada ennast? Kuidas aktsepteerida enda juures asju, mida on aastaid või lausa aastakümneid maha tehtud? Mis üldse on enesearmastus? . Mina näen enesearmastuse taga enda aktsepteerimist, mõistmist ja toetamist just sellisena, nagu ma olen. Ning, jah, see hõlmab ka neid külgi, mis mulle enda juures varem meeldinud pole. Ja see ei tähenda, et ma ei võiks enam muutuda või tahaks enam kuhugi püüelda, aga kui ma armastan ennast, siis see ei tule endaga rahulolematusest või enda valeks tegemisest.. vaid lihtsalt soovist, et inimesel, keda ma armastan, oleks parem olla. . Enese armastama hakkamine tähendab enda vastu võitlemise lõpetamist, sisemist rahu, endaga rahu. Kui me ei lükka enam ennast ära, kui me ei häbene enam enda omadusi, olekut või erinevaid pooli. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me võtame aega selleks, et ennast tundma õppida. Me pühendume sellele, et ennast mõista ja endaga kohal olla. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me hoolitseme enda eest. Me tahame, et kogu meie olemusel oleks hea ning vajadusel astume selleks samme. Me kuulame oma vajadusi ja prioriseerime ennast. Kui me armastame ennast, siis me särame ja sellest särast saavad osa ka meid ümbritsevad inimesed.

. . Kuidas hakata ennast rohkem armastama? Võimalusi on selleks mitmeid. Täna jagan teiega ühte küsimust, mis mind sellel teel on toetanud: „Mida teeks inimene, kes armastab mind täpselt sellisena, nagu ma olen?” Kui olen vastu võtmas otsust või otsimas ideed uueks ettevõtmiseks, siis vaatan seda küsimust ja tunnetan, mis on minuga kooskõlas. Tunnetan, milline otsus on enda suhtes armastav. Iga sellise otsusega saame me astuda lähemale olemaks inimene, kes armastab meid täpselt sellisena, nagu me oleme. . Inspiratsioon küsimuseks pärineb Teal Swani raamatust „Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through Your Darkest Times”. . . Kui sind kõnetab see küsimus ja usud, et see võiks kedagi toetada, siis hindan väga, kui jagad seda sõnumit ka edasi. Aitäh

. #enesearmastus #armastaennast #armastus #eneseaktsepteerimine #rahulolu #heaelu #heaelutehnika #harjutus #teadlikkus #teadlikelu #sinilill #sinililled #eestimets

5 years ago

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4/6

Have you felt embarrassed about showing your feelings? I definitely have and here are some of my thoughts about it.
.
When we feel embarrassed or ashamed of our feelings and sharing them, then too often, we do this because we were shamed or even punished for having these feelings in the past. When an aspect of a child is not accepted or allowed by her family/friends/school/society, then the child often chooses to push this part away. When we grow up, we continue subconsciously pushing the part away even without realizing that the situation might have changed. We don’t allow ourselves to cry in front of others when we were shamed for crying in childhood. We don’t try out stepping on a stage when we were shamed for performing as children. We don’t love our bodies when we were told that we are too chubby or ugly. And so on. The criticism we receive as children is the criticism we start giving to ourselves.
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How can we heal?
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We can start by noticing the things that we think are wrong about us, the feelings we think we shouldn’t feel, the desires we think we shouldn’t have… And question them. Should I really be embarrassed about feeling this way? Should I really hold myself back from going after my dream? Should I really tell these negative things towards my body? Becoming aware is the first crucial step. And then, we can consciously choose and act differently. We can start choosing a softer, more loving approach towards ourselves.
.
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Read full story with a personal example from my blog. Link in bio or 👉 https://tuulivahtra.com/blog/
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#innerchildwork #embarrassment #innercritic #authenticity #healthyrelationships #selflovejourney #healingjourney #innerwork #mentalhealthmatters #innergrowth #findingyourownvoice #accecptyourself #emotionalawareness #selflove #worthiness #transformation #traumaawareness #awareness

tuulivahtra

•

Have you felt embarrassed about showing your feelings? I definitely have and here are some of my thoughts about it. . When we feel embarrassed or ashamed of our feelings and sharing them, then too often, we do this because we were shamed or even punished for having these feelings in the past. When an aspect of a child is not accepted or allowed by her family/friends/school/society, then the child often chooses to push this part away. When we grow up, we continue subconsciously pushing the part away even without realizing that the situation might have changed. We don’t allow ourselves to cry in front of others when we were shamed for crying in childhood. We don’t try out stepping on a stage when we were shamed for performing as children. We don’t love our bodies when we were told that we are too chubby or ugly. And so on. The criticism we receive as children is the criticism we start giving to ourselves. . How can we heal? . We can start by noticing the things that we think are wrong about us, the feelings we think we shouldn’t feel, the desires we think we shouldn’t have… And question them. Should I really be embarrassed about feeling this way? Should I really hold myself back from going after my dream? Should I really tell these negative things towards my body? Becoming aware is the first crucial step. And then, we can consciously choose and act differently. We can start choosing a softer, more loving approach towards ourselves. . . Read full story with a personal example from my blog. Link in bio or

https://tuulivahtra.com/blog/ . . #innerchildwork #embarrassment #innercritic #authenticity #healthyrelationships #selflovejourney #healingjourney #innerwork #mentalhealthmatters #innergrowth #findingyourownvoice #accecptyourself #emotionalawareness #selflove #worthiness #transformation #traumaawareness #awareness

5 years ago

View on Instagram |

5/6

Mida teha, kui keegi tuleb sulle oma kurbusest, hirmust või murest rääkima? Inimesed on lahendustele oluliselt rohkem avatud, kui neid on kõigepealt ära kuulatud ja nad tunnevad ennast mõistetult. Panin kirja nõuanded ja toon näiteid, kuidas kuulata, mõista, valideerida ja toetada. Mida öelda ja mida mitte öelda. Blogi link Instagrami profiilil. ❤
Või trüki 👉 tuulivahtra.com/valideerimine
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#artikkel #suhted #mõistmine #tunded #kurbus #toetamine #psühholoogia #terviklikkuseteraapia #nõuanded

tuulivahtra

•

Mida teha, kui keegi tuleb sulle oma kurbusest, hirmust või murest rääkima? Inimesed on lahendustele oluliselt rohkem avatud, kui neid on kõigepealt ära kuulatud ja nad tunnevad ennast mõistetult. Panin kirja nõuanded ja toon näiteid, kuidas kuulata, mõista, valideerida ja toetada. Mida öelda ja mida mitte öelda. Blogi link Instagrami profiilil.

Või trüki

tuulivahtra.com/valideerimine . . #artikkel #suhted #mõistmine #tunded #kurbus #toetamine #psühholoogia #terviklikkuseteraapia #nõuanded

5 years ago

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